As you probably know, I write as well as publish. I just love to write!

Right now I am writing about a lad called Lance, who needs to respond to a message in a bottle which has been lowered on a piece of string outside his bedroom window (what fun writing is!), and thought you might be interested to see how a few strong words can completely transform a sentence.

Draft: Lance went to his desk, took a page out of a notebook and picked up a pen from his bedside table.

Edited version: Lance ran to his desk, ripped a page out of a notebook and snatched a pen from his bedside table.

Better, huh?

I shared this on our Write for a Reason Community Facebook page, and have some more fabulous ideas to inspire you!

Joanne wrote: I’d love to hear the opposite too and imagine the scenario behind itLance meandered over to his desk, thumbed through a notebook for an empty page and wondered where he might find a pen…

Carol wrote:

Just for fun: Lance crawled over to his desk, pulled down his notebook, scrabbled for an empty page and located a broken pencil the only thing left in his room…

Gotta love all the creativity!

Now it’s time for you to get to work to add atmosphere and emotion in your own work:

  1. Let those examples sink in for a minute or two, and feel how different they are to the first (boring!) draft.
  2. Go through your current work in progress, and see if there are any changes you could make, to add more atmosphere and emotion – with a few strong words.
  3. Come over to the Facebook page and add your ideas!

Let’s keep inspiring each other. Our readers are worth it!

Janet Wilson, founder of Dernier Publishing

May the grace of God be with you,


P.S. If you’re not a member of our Community Group, just ask and I’ll let you in. And do invite your writer friends!

One Way to Quickly Add Atmosphere and Emotion to Your Story
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